[JPAG Week] Coming together, coming apart: A witness testimony of the rise and fall of the JPAG

Contributed by Cory Rolon. Twitter: SheepOnFall

When I was 14 I joined a fairly popular .hack// message board, The World BBS. It was my first taste at an actual online community, as the only thing I had used the internet before was looking at porn, chatting on AIM, or figuring out how to download Ruroni Kenshin songs on Napster. It was an amazing experience and despite all of us hiding behind our handles, we quickly began using our real names. Eventually, though, .hack// lost relevancy in the video game and anime world, and everyone sought greener pastures. I’m still friends with a few of the people I met on there, but it’s definitely not the same relationship that we had when we were younger.

I don’t even know how I ended up in the JPAG. My earliest memories are from the beginning of winter 2009. I had just gotten out of an awkward relationship and left a another online community working with anime fan subs. School was rough, friends were scattered about the United States, and my depression was quickly consuming whatever else of me I had left. Some of you might not know — especially because I’m the most fabulous person in the universe — but I suffer from severe depression and anxiety. Combined, this makes it very difficult for me to meet people, and in turn makes me feel broken.

And then I met you. Yes, you. All of you. I found the JPAG somehow, a memory that continues to evade me, and the best years of my life began. Within the first few weeks of my joining, the makings for a JPAG meet up were already underway right here in my backyard: Chicago, Illinois. Immediately, like a swift karate kick to the nuts, my anxiety reignited. Would they like me? Would I like them? Why would they let someone who they barely know into their house? Maybe it was just a plot to sacrifice me to their dark lord of breakfast sandwiches. Either way, I finally made the decision to get in my car and drive down to Randall Smith’s place.

I entered the building and walked up the stairs, right past Randall’s apartment. Behind me a door whirled open and someone said “Are you Cory? Come on in!” In that instant a weight was lifted from my shoulders and I proceeded to have an amazing night of Boom Blox-ery and Rock Banding. I was the youngest person there—19 at the time—but all the drunk, old farts treated me no different than they treated one another. It was my first glimpse at the true kindness of the JPAG. I found my new home.

People posted on the discussion forums every day, spurring often hilarious conversations between everyone. Nothing was off limits. We had discussions ranging from LOST to pubic grooming to why Ben Pack is always wrong. Back then we had a real and visible sense of community. We had fundraisers for things like James’ penis reduction surgery, countless meet ups all over the country (and beyond!), Secret Santas, endless fights and eventual beef squashing. We had our ups and downs, ins and outs, hippity hoppitys, but in the end we would always be that tightly knit JPAG family that I had come to know and love.

Or so I thought. Earlier this year, Facebook changed the way groups were handled, effectively destroying a major part of how the JPAG communicated with one another. At the time, I didn’t really care as I had moved on to Twitter with most of the people I knew from the JPAG, and thus, didn’t really see how much of an impact losing the old JPAG would eventually make. Several months have passed and I’ve felt something lacking. We tried to revitalize things with the Ning, but that that quickly fell through. The new Facebook group isn’t even a fraction as used as the old one was, although there is a fair amount of newer people posting from time to time.

I guess I’m really writing this because I’m afraid of moving on. In my time with the JPAG I’ve met so many of you wonderful humans. Just in the past year I’ve travelled to Boston and Michigan, eaten escargot for the first time—which was really gross but the way—with Ryan Gan, and even got a hug from Bob Ball himself. I could go on and on about the countless memories you have all provided me, but this is already as sappy as it needs to be. I’ve tried finding new communities to join in the event of the JPAG completely dissolving, even one specifically for gay gamers, but nothing held a candle to you, JPAG.

What I really mean to say is this: I don’t know what’s in store for the JPAG, but I do know that I want to stay friends with each and every one of you for as long as humanly possible. Maybe this is just a part of growing up. Maybe the recent Joystiq exodus is a sign for us/me to move on. Maybe I’m just being dramatic and nothing has really changed. Either way, I just hope that whatever happens I can still have the same relationship I have with you folks that I do now.

And for those of you who don’t tweet or post as often as you used to: What the fuck is wrong with you? I’m pouring my heart out here and I don’t even get a “Hello.” Assholes.

Visit the JPAG here: Facebook Link  Ning Link