By: Mike Valenti
Host, Valenti & Foster, 97.1FM The Ticket
Twitter.com/mikevalenti971

One of the definitions of “insanity” is to do the same thing and again and again and expect a different result.

Then call me insane. Clinical, in fact.

Why I ever expect anything to change with the inferior gridiron products EA Sports produces is beyond me. Yes folks, it’s Madden 12! Or is it Madden 10? 11? Eh, doesn’t matter, they’re all the same.

Now before you go off the deep end and claim that I’m unfair, humor me with a few more lines.

In many ways Madden 12 indeed carries on the legacy of the “Madden brand”. Bugs, glitches, broken features, and for every truly impressive development or feature, a gaggle of half measures and letdowns exist. Yes folks, tradition is indeed alive and well. From a gameplay perspective the game is eerily similar to past VERSIONS. While certain steps were taken to improve gameplay there still exists 4- to 5-year old issues that remain unsolved. Let’s examine a few.

Suction blocking is alive and well. Example: Explain how any human or forklift could stop an NFL defensive tackle while standing flat footed and directly to his left or right? It’s physical impossibilities like this that ruin any illusion of realism and rob the gamer’s feeling of any accomplishment. Playing as a dominant pass rusher is pointless as well. You are automatically forced to directly engage your opponent, stand straight up and then asked to use a ridiculous and non effective “swim move” to try to get to the QB. All the while you are put to a dead stop. Again, show me one example where Dwight Freeney is halted dead in his tracks and forced to restart a move on a wide rush. It simply doesn’t happen, and if it does it’s rare. Like “once or twice a game” rare.

This is Madden 12’s fatal flaw. On very few levels is it remotely realistic. Sure you might get a sack or actually make a play but you are forced to do it in a ridiculous way, and in the end that ruins the entire experience. Gamers like myself were willing to tolerate that with the “old gen” systems along with our youth-based enthusiasm. But now? No, sorry guys. Not when you have charged people $400 for a system and $60 per title. Not when we are forced to wait for DLC that rarely is worth it and tuner packs that can wreck a game due to lack of testing as much as it may indeed help it. (That’s if the tuner pack ever comes.) The Madden dev team could do itself a service by studying how EA Canada does business with it’s customers in the NHL series. I digress.

I could give you dozens of examples like the pass rushing one, but it’s the principle of believability that I want you to focus on. The complete lack thereof is this game’s ultimate undoing. Nothing feels organic. Frankly, nothing feels like football. To me, that’s a fatal flaw and ultimately a failing grade.

Are certain things done well? Absolutely. The game looks wonderful, player models are spot on, there are some great new animations and a host of other nice cosmetic touches. Hooray stat overlays! The problem is, it’s all window dressing. None of the glaring issues that have plagued this series for years–  repeat, YEARS!!! — have been fixed.

Here’s a fun checklist.

• Awful menus and interface? Check
• ZERO line interactions? Check
• WR’s have zero interest in the ball? Check
• Linebackers with 40’ verticals? Check
• Ratings that mean nothing? Check

Let’s just stop there.

Sound is equally atrocious. Lifeless crowds. Freight train boom on EVERY hit. Goofy dinging when you kick a field goal. Just hit mute and podcast a colonoscopy.

For a company to release this game with this commentary is an embarrassment. Then again this is the same company who’s shipped games like NCAA 10 with broken sliders, NCAA 12 with enough bugs to fill Billy the Exterminator’s cowboy hat and NCAA 06, a series which should’ve been executed like the NBA Elite series.

Gus Johnson is yelling at everyone. The guy is calling out the wrong names, singing the Batman theme. In a word — “BIZARRE”. Collinsworth may as well be asleep. He sounds like he’s hungover and not even in the same booth as Gus. It’s almost like these two are throwing darts at a cliché board and just spitting out the line where it lands. Nothing fits. In a day and age where we’ve seen dynamic commentary from series like NBA 2k and MLB: The Show this is not only unacceptable, it’s shameful. Honestly I think the commentary on Joe Montana’s Sports Talk Football was better.

I’d talk about in game presentation but it doesn’t really exist. Goofy cut scenes and easily forgettable team entrances are all you get for your dollar. Enjoy.

It’s tired. The entire product and packaging are tired. Wanna know why I didn’t review Franchise Mode? Because I don’t like the game enough to ever bother playing one. The idea of playing 17 weeks of this ridiculous product makes me want to puke and then drink it. How this company manages to produce this garbage without getting called to the carpet is beyond my comprehension. Oh wait: exclusivity. Another day, another time.

[rating: 2]

 

Save your money. There is nothing to see here. Not for $60 and the six weeks it will take to get meaningful tuners, sliders and re-rated rosters to fix this mess. Just ask NCAA fans. How’s that patch doing guys? 8 weeks later… still nothing.

This review is based on a copy of the game for the Xbox 360 sent to SideQuesting by the publisher.  This review has no affiliation with WXYT 97.1 The Ticket or CBS Radio.