If you’ve somehow missed every review, video and description of Super Meat Boy thus far, let me break it down: You play as a small cube of meat whose only love is another small cube, made of pink bandages and aptly named Bandage Girl. The evil Dr. Fetus proceeds to kidnap your one true desire, daring you to attempt a rescue. Not one to loaf about waiting for things to get better, you spring into action and run a gauntlet of increasingly challenging levels which bring you ever closer to a reunion.
With that simple premise in place, the game proceeds to punish you for ever deciding to purchase it. Once you’ve made it past the first “gimme” stages, which are more tutorials than challenges, Super Meat Boy ramps up the difficulty continuously. To say Super Meat Boy is relentlessly, demonically and disgustingly challenging would be the understatement of the year, and it preys on every hardcore gamer’s biggest weakness — failing.
And fail you will. You’ll meet your doom in a number of gruesome ways, such as gigantic buzz saws, motion-activated rocket launchers, and (inexplicably) huge mounds of salt. Each death is recorded for posterity and upon finally completing a level, played back simultaneously for your enjoyment. There are a total of over 350 levels included, roughly half of which are the story mode’s standard levels with the difficulty multiplied to a nearly unplayable degree.
Gamers who grew up playing punishing platformers on the NES, Genesis and the like will instantly be able to appreciate the game for what it is — a sadistic, yet remarkably addicting trip down memory lane. While casual players will likely want to run for cover. Now. RUN.
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