We love sophomoric humor. Take, for instance, the joke about the two nuns and the car insurance salesman. Ah, good times.
It should come as no surprise that we love great porn-related topics as well. In a “DOH! Why didn’t we think of this earlier” head-slapper, it dawned on us during our latest episode of the SideQuest that one thing was terribly missing in the gaming world: a list of porn versions of popular videogames.
Sure we’ve all heard of Left 4 Head, the porn film based on the Left 4 Dead franchise, but far be it from us to stop there. Halo: ODSTD. Metal Rear Solid 4. The possibilities are endless. We’ve begun the list, and it’s up to you, the Internet, to take it to heights never before seen.
Yes, we’ve sunk that low. In fact, if you are easily offended then don’t read any further. And if you’re not easily offended then you probably will be once you reach the end. At least for your sake we’ve posted the list after the break. Take a look and try to figure out what games these poor representations of our inner 12-year-olds are based on.
Enjoy, you sick bastards! (Extremely NSFW!)
Video Game Porn
Halo: Reacharound
Asses ‘n Greed 2: Cokelines
Team Hostess 2
Garry’s Bod
BioCock
Call of Booty: Modern Whorefare 2
Bable 2
Gears of Whore
Counterstrike: Whores
Hitman: Codename Whores and Sevens
Scatman: Arkham Ass-ylum
Super Monkey’s Balls
Head Space: Sextraction
Metal Rear Solid 4: Cums of the Patriot
Metal Rear Solid Threesome: Abstinence
Halo: ODSTD
World of Goo (Lumped in with this group, it just sounds perfect without a porn translation)
Head Faction: Girlilla
Elder Scrotums
The Orange Cox
Team Whoretress 2: Gangbang
Halo 3==D
Tiger’s Wood 2011
Ratchet in Clank: Size Matters
Cummand and Conq-whore 4
God of Whore III
Pokemon Pearl Necklace
Pokemon Golden Shower
The Beat-offs: Cock Band
Resistance: Full of Men
EA’s Skat
Primal Fantasy XXXIII
Board-her-lands
Wii Won’t Fit
Booty Legend
Pokemon Rump Ranger
Rainbow 69
Coke Recon: Advanced Whore
Spyro: Angry Dragon
Head Rising
Darrel May Cry 4
Dukie Nukem
‘Splosion Men
Anal & Pixel
DiRTY: Colin McRae Off-Road
Sly Pooter
Boneretta
Motor Storm2: Pacific Rimjob
Mirror’s Edging
Womb Raider: Anniversary
Banjo-Bootie
Dig Doug
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